Terms of Enmity
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 08/21/11 at 04:07 PM CT
Any hobby that has been around as long as videogaming has is bound to accumulate a layer of jargon. Jargon is useful, as it allows the initiated to express complex concepts in few words. However, in my many travels across the vast intellectual wasteland of Internet gaming forums, I have come across several terms that grate on me with their utter lack of meaning.
1. “AAA”
I see this term bandied-around constantly about whatever newest, most over-hyped release is just around the corner. WTF does this even mean?! AAA… like the United States’ credit rating? Oh, nope, not anymore! Most of the time, games designated as ‘AAA’ are those with massive budgets for ‘realistic’ graphics and enough marketing to tell everyone in the developed world just how realistic those graphics are. Really, ‘AAA’ seems to be synonymous with the ‘summer blockbusters’ of the movie world, in that they’re all hype, no substance, have huge budgets, make a lot of money, and are forgotten …
5 Game Series Being Killed by Lack of Innovation
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 08/14/11 at 09:08 PM CT
Crafting an ongoing game franchise requires a delicate balance between conforming to the core elements of the first title in the series, incremental gameplay improvements, and subtle innovation. Straying too far from a franchise’s roots can alienate fans and risks losing touch with what made the original game popular in the first place. But being too conservative is fraught with risk as well. So here’s a list of 5 franchises that I used to enjoy, but have stopped caring about because the sequels have become more and more like blurry photocopies of the original.
5. Pokemon
This series started out with a lot of ingenuity: A turn-based RPG that focuses on one-on-one battles, local multi-player, and collectable characters. The first game, “Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow,” was pretty broken, as some of the Pokemon types had a huge advantage and no real weakness (Psychic) while others served as nothing but a burden, making a huge swath of the character roster worthless (Poison). These …
WTF is Wrong with You, Japan?
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 08/07/11 at 05:16 PM CT
Dear Japan,
We’ve been friends for a long time. Ever since we met back in the 1980s, I was impressed by your quirky sense of humor and ability to come up with strange ideas that ultimately ended up being very entertaining. Sure, you were weird, but your weirdness was what made you unique.
But now, things have changed. I should have suspected it all along, but we were having such good times that I just went along with it and didn’t say anything. Now it seems obvious to me that something was wrong the entire time we’ve known each other, and you’ve been walking closer and closer to the precipice as the years have passed.
Japan, you have a problem, and this is an intervention.
I know you’ve had it rough lately with the economy. We all have. But the fact that your youth population is shrinking and what few youth you do have are straying down the paths of NEET, Hikikomori, Otaku, and Herbivores doesn’t mean you should embrace those negative aspects of your …
5 Ways for FPSes to Melt My Cold, Cold Heart
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 07/31/11 at 11:55 AM CT
It is no secret that I dislike the first-person shooter genre. It’s not just because modern FPSes are invariably pointless multi-player frag-a-thons, and it’s not just because most of them are ‘rated M for juvenile’ with paper-thin plots and settings featuring some combination of Space Marines, World War II, and/or Zombies (all things I hate in my entertainment media, be it games, movies, books, or anything else). There are a handful of FPSes that defy these genre conventions, and actually make themselves into games that I would be interested in playing… if it weren’t for the fact that the genre is mired in poor gameplay conventions that I find intolerable. So here’s a short list of gameplay mechanics that FPS developers need to put into their games in order to make me dislike them less.
5. Regenerating Health
Wow, this one has been done already! I always hated the so-called ‘classics’ of the FPS genre – things like “DOOM” and “Quake” – because it …
Second-Hand Greed
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 07/24/11 at 07:08 PM CT
The fact that game publishers are becoming more and more like movie studios is difficult to ignore. Both games and movies have always relied on the old boogeyman of ‘piracy’ to explain lack of sales, even though studies have shown that each infringing copy does not equal a lost sale. Even Electronic Arts, one of the biggest and most vile game publishers in the world, admits to this fact.
So, if piracy is not to blame for lost sales, then what could possibly explain why game publishers aren’t raking in the hojillions of dollars required to gold-plate the CEO’s yacht while still providing a dented can of Pork & Beans for the development team to fight over? Obviously it’s the second-hand market!
Used games have been around for as long as videogaming has existed. While GameStop may have only been around since 1984 (in some form or another), I’m sure that real oldsters can remember buying used Colecovision or Atari games at garage sales and thrift shops. While Big Media …
Xbox, Why are You a Thing?
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 07/17/11 at 11:32 PM CT
As I mentioned in my discussion of Sega’s viability in the 8th Generation console market, a strategic alliance with Microsoft would be key. However, when it comes to Microsoft itself, I have never understood or supported their entry into the console race.
When one thinks of Microsoft, one thinks of operating systems, specifically Windows (and maybe MS-DOS for those older than 25). Windows is the dominant computer operating system primarily because of compatibility with the widest range of commercial, open source, freeware, and homebrewed software. Much of this software takes the form of videogames. In 2001, when Microsoft launched the original Xbox console, they had also just launched their operating system magnum opus in the form of Windows XP. So why would Microsoft waste resources breaking into a console market dominated by Sony, Nintendo, and Sega when it was already sitting on the most universal, easy-to-develop-for gaming platform in the world?
Maybe Microsoft was …
Should Sega Make a Comeback? Part 2
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 07/10/11 at 05:43 PM CT
Previously, I discussed the viability of Sega making a return to the console arms race during the imminent Generation 8. I concluded that Sega has no hopes of competing in the already-over-crowded hardware market outside of a novelty/budget/nostalgia box that has their entire first party library built-in. Unless, that is, Sega were to seek a strategic alliance with one of the three companies that already control the entire console pie.
Now, let us think: Who would make a perfect match for Sega?
Which console maker has, like Sega, seen significantly more success in the Western world than in Japan?
Which console maker would greatly benefit from Sega’s stable of first party titles to provide some desperately-needed genre diversity?
Which console maker could benefit from Sega’s long Japanese pedigree?
Which console maker has already worked with Sega in the past, and plastered a nice, big (but ultimately meaningless) ‘Compatible with Windows CE’ sticker on the …
Wii Want RPGs: Join Operation Rainfall
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 07/03/11 at 10:10 PM CT
As I briefly mentioned in my E3 Impressions, Nintendo of America has failed, yet again, to confirm localization of three high-quality, first party exclusives, all of which are new intellectual properties: “Xenoblade Chronicles,” “The Last Story,” and “Pandora’s Tower.” Despite the gaming media and fans alike clamoring for these games, Nintendo has stonewalled everyone with such insightful comments as, “We never say 'never,' but we can confirm that there are no plans to bring these three games to the Americas at this time.” Comments like these are meaningless, as game companies – especially Nintendo and Sony – love to take one official position, only to completely reverse that decision a few months later. However, taken at face value, Nintendo of America is being flat-out idiotic by ignoring fan demand for these three RPGs.
Back in the Golden Age, Nintendo ruled the world, one foot astride their first party titles (Mario/Zelda/Metroid), the other foot astride …
Should Sega Make a Comeback? Part 1
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 06/25/11 at 03:20 PM CT
When the Dreamcast died an incredibly premature death after only 3 years on the market, the company that fought tooth-and-nail with Nintendo across 4 generations of console hardware gave up and became a software-only third party. For fans of Sega’s products, this was a major blow, as it resulted in a diaspora of popular titles that were formerly all available in one place. For example, the “Sonic Adventure” games migrated to Nintendo’s Gamecube while the sequel to “Panzer Dragoon” ended up on the Xbox. Suddenly, keeping up with Sega’s library of games became a lot more expensive, as it required owning multiple consoles.
Die-hard Sega and Dreamcast fans have been speculating that the hardware-turned-software developer still has what it takes to compete with the likes of Microsoft, Sony, and their old foe, Nintendo. Now that Nintendo has shown its hand with regards to starting Console Generation 8 in 2012 while Microsoft and Sony struggle beneath the burdens of their …
RareWare: Much Ado about Nothing
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 06/19/11 at 03:40 PM CT
Ask any N64 fanboy who his favorite developers are, and you will receive the same two responses over and over: Nintendo and Rare. Rare, a British development house, spent the years between 1994 and 2002 as an unofficial Nintendo second party, meaning that they developed games exclusively for Nintendo hardware despite not actually being a wholly owned subsidiary of the Japanese console maker. In 2002, Microsoft bought 100% of the company and made Rare a subsidiary of their own gaming division. Of course, Microsoft has been building a reputation for inexplicably spending large amounts of money on worthless things.
This love by N64 fanboys is extremely disappointing, as whenever I stand on my anti-N64 soapbox, railing against Nintendo’s lack of quality games (or even quantity games) on their failed 5th Generation console, the defense drags out the same tired argument of Rare exclusives that were so amazing that the N64 didn’t need any other games. The truth of the matter is that …
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