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Nelson Schneider's profile picture

Nelson Schneider

Ranking Status: Epic Reviewer  
Status: Single
Gender: Male
Orientation: Straight
Religion: Secular Humanism
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Activity Points

Total Ratings: 1824
Total Reviews: 473
Total Lists: 57
Total Points: 4244

Meet Nelson Schneider


Bachelor of Arts in English and Classics, Master of Arts in Classics, Certified Webmaster




MeltedJoystick Editor and Chief Reviewer; Farmer

Friends (6)

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Chris Kavan






1. Ancient Magic ( Baz... Add to game list
2. Arabian Nights Add to game list
3. Burning Heroes ( Ne... Add to game list
4. Emerald Dragon Add to game list
5. Ganpuru: Gunman's P... Add to game list
6. Hiouden: Legend of ... Add to game list
7. Neutopia II Add to game list
8. XIII Add to game list
9. Aarklash: Legacy Add to game list
10. Aegis Defenders Add to game list
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Recent Rating History

Tiny Tina's Wonderl... 3.5/5
Tiny Tina's Wonderl... 3/5
Tiny Tina's Wonderl... 3/5
Tiny Tina's Wonderl... 3/5
Tiny Tina's Wonderl... 3/5
Ratchet & Clank: Ri... 4.5/5
Ratchet & Clank: Ri... 4.5/5
Super Mario Bros. W... 4.5/5
The Alliance Alive 2/5
The Alliance Alive 2/5
View rating history +



Gaming Profile

The game I love

Dragon Quest 5, Final Fantasy 6, Suikoden 2

The game I hate (and want to destroy)

Final Fantasy 7, Resident Evil, Dark Souls

My guilty pleasure (game)


Favorite Platform

Least Favorite

PC (Steam) 

Nintendo 64 

Favorite Genre

Least Favorite

Role Playing (RPG) 


Favorite Quotes

"We're meeting G over there." "Don't come! Don't come!" --House of the Dead 2

"It's a secret to everybody." --The Legend of Zelda

"This is sickening... You sound like chapters from a self-help booklet!" "Son of a submariner! They'll pay for this..." --Final Fantasy 6

Top Game List

1. Dragon Quest V: Hand of the Heavenly Bride SNES Add to game list
2. Final Fantasy III ( Final Fantasy VI ) SNES Add to game list
3. Suikoden II PS1 Add to game list
4. Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn & Throne of ... PC Add to game list
5. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past SNES Add to game list
6. Metroid: Zero Mission GBA Add to game list
7. Super Mario Bros. X PC Add to game list
8. Super Mario World SNES Add to game list
9. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night PS1 Add to game list
10. Tomba! PS1 Add to game list
11. Valkyrie Profile PS1 Add to game list
12. Ôkami PS2 Add to game list
13. Valkyria Chronicles 4 PC Add to game list
14. Divinity: Original Sin PC Add to game list
15. Pandora's Tower Wii Add to game list
16. Little King's Story Wii Add to game list
17. Dragon Force SAT Add to game list
18. Super Smash Bros. Melee GC Add to game list
19. Mario Kart Wii Wii Add to game list
20. Dust: An Elysian Tail PC Add to game list
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Latest Game Review

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Tiny Tina's Wonderlands
PC (Steam)
Just Like Tabletop…
3.5/5 stars

“Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands” (“Wonderlands”) began life as an “Assault on Dragon Keep”-style DLC expansion for “Borderlands 3”… But then the COVID-19 pandemic hit and threw wrenches into nearly everyone’s business. “Wonderlands” suddenly shifted from a typical Gearbox development cycle to being entirely remotely developed. I...


Recent Comments

Write On Profile

Chris Kavan

Chris Kavan- wrote on 03/25/20 at 10:25 PM CT
Burokku Girls Review comment


I have a feeling every single Sakura game I bought on that Humble Bundle sale is going to turn out exactly like this - which is why I have yet to play any of them (also, it will show up on my Steam activity... and I can't wash off the shame).

Chris Kavan

Chris Kavan- wrote on 03/25/20 at 10:21 PM CT
Finding Paradise Review comment


Finding Paradise is on my wishlist, I just haven't pulled the trigger yet. Based on your review, I will bump it up on my purchase list!

Nelson Schneider

Nelson Schneider- wrote on 01/24/20 at 01:06 AM CT
Super Mario Maker 2 Review comment


Okay, I changed it to a 3/5 just for you.

Nelson Schneider

Nelson Schneider- wrote on 01/24/20 at 01:03 AM CT
Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Co... Review comment


Somebody's bias is showing here, but it's not mine.


dbarry_22- wrote on 01/06/20 at 03:49 PM CT
Super Mario Maker 2 Review comment


So let me get this straight. You played a game that's based on BUILDING and SHARING levels with others and you built a single level and didn't even access the sharing portion of the game to play other users levels.

Since you state this was your intent all along I have to say you should have never bought this game. The story mode to Mario Maker 2 is clearly secondary and if you're not going to build a ton of levels or get the Nintendo Online Subscription for sharing you have no business playing this game in the first place. I'd say this to anyone who owns a Switch.

I'm actually shocked you gave this thing a 3.5/5 considering how much of it you didn't do.


dbarry_22- wrote on 01/06/20 at 01:08 PM CT
Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Co... Review comment


Sigh. So I guess your complaints under "presentation" represent ALL original Game Boy games? You do realize that this game came out in 1992 and the Super Game Boy came out in 1994 right? That means when this game was made there was no consideration whatsoever about a color palette. And then complaining about the sound not being able to produce what a SNES could is like saying all Switch games are inferior to PS4 games because it can't produce the same graphics. Wow talk about superficial complaints about a handheld game.

Sorry man, an original Game Boy game is NEVER going to have the same length, levels, sound and graphical standards as a SNES game. Comparing this game to Super Mario World as the basis of your review is flawed to say the least. Your bias against handheld gaming could not be more clear.

When was the last time a Mario game had a "good" story? What's so good about the Super Mario World story again? Oh right....

There can be legitimate complaints about this game but I'll be honest I have fond memories of playing this game on the actual Game Boy back in the day searching for the secret exits and all the levels much like Super Mario World. Is it as good as SMW? Absolutely not, but I had a fun time playing the game for many of same reasons I had fun playing SMW.

Do Game Boy games hold up well as more time passes since their release? No. But if you decide to play a Game Boy game in 2020 you should know that going in. Bashing the obvious limitations of a 30 year old handheld console for the majority of your review isn't just not necessary, it's a low blow to gaming in general.

Nelson Schneider

Nelson Schneider- wrote on 07/03/19 at 05:54 PM CT
Song of the Deep Review comment


The controls are solid. There's momentum, as you'd expect underwater (or in space), but it's not overdone and movement is very responsive.

I played Hollow Knight for a couple of hours, and found it to be over-hyped flavor-of-the-day bandwagon fodder, so I uninstalled it. I won't be reviewing it, but if you must know my least favorite of its many questionable mechanics and design choices, it would be the way knockback works. Instead of pushing enemies away as the hero hits them, the hero scoots backwards as he hits enemies.

And you said the secret word regarding Dead Cells, which guarantees that I will NEVER play or review it, but know it's trash already.


dbarry_22- wrote on 06/19/19 at 01:02 PM CT
Song of the Deep Review comment


I often find myself frustrated by the controls of games that take place underwater and I've seen complaints elsewhere online saying that this game is like that. How did it play for you?

Also, I see that you said that Hollow Knight and Dead Cells are over-hyped. Have you played them? I don't see a review for either from you. I'm not sure you can compare Dead Cells to this, it's a rogue-like but I've only heard good things from Hollow Knight.



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What Members Are Doing

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New Game Reviews

Ginga Force game review by Megadrive
Tiny Tina's Wonderlands game review by Nelson Schneider
Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart game review by Nelson Schneider
MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries game review by Chris Kavan
Super Mario Bros. Wonder game review by Nelson Schneider
Rage 2 game review by Chris Kavan
Cthulhu Saves Christmas game review by Nick
The Legend of Zelda: Breat... game review by Nick

New Game Lists

Top Wii Games by Megadrive
Backlog (Multi-Player) by Nelson Schneider
My Backlog by Chris Kavan
Games I Own: Switch Digital by dbarry_22
Top Nintendo (NES) Games by Nick
Backlog by Matt
Top Game List by SIngli6
Top Game List by Jonzor




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