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Chris Kavan

Ranking Status: Trophy Whore  
Game I'm Playing:  Katamari Damacy REROLL
Name: Chris Kavan
Home town: Wahoo, NE
Current area: Lincoln, NE
Status: Single
Gender: Male
Orientation: Straight
Religion: Catholic (lapsed)
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Activity Points

Total Ratings: 519
Total Reviews: 469
Total Lists: 24
Total Points: 2318

Meet Chris Kavan

About Me

I'm the shortest person on Melted Joystick. Prove me wrong!


Lots: reading, anime, watching certain TV series, vodka and the mixing of said spirit.


Bachelor's Degree Print Journalism.


Simons Home Store


Retail Sales Representative - If you visit my store I will sell you something, or at least try my best. Mostly I work behind the scenes here to make sure things run smoothly.

Friends (141)

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Nelson Schneider



Josh C



My Backlog

1. Age of Wonders III Add to game list
2. Alan Wake Add to game list
3. Alan Wake's America... Add to game list
4. Alice: Madness Retu... Add to game list
5. Always Sometimes Mo... Add to game list
6. Amnesia: A Machine ... Add to game list
7. Anna Add to game list
8. Assassin's Creed III Add to game list
9. Assassin's Creed Od... Add to game list
10. Aveyond: Gates of N... Add to game list
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Recent Rating History

Hitman: Absolution 3.5/5
Alternativa 2.5/5
Victor Vran 3/5
Stardew Valley 4/5
Undertale 4/5
Cyberpunk 2077 3/5
Sleeping Dogs 4/5
Sleeping Dawn 0.5/5
Fable Anniversary 3/5
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Gaming Profile

The game I love

Final Fantasy VI

The game I hate (and want to destroy)


My guilty pleasure (game)

The Lego Series

Favorite Platform

Least Favorite

PlayStation 3 

Xbox One 

Favorite Genre

Least Favorite



Favorite Quotes

Elf needs food, badly! - Damn Narrator, Gauntlet

Say fuzzy pickles! - photographer, Earthbound

"That was too close; you were almost a Jill sandwich." - Barry, S.T.A.R.S. member, Resident Evil

Top Game List

1. Final Fantasy III ( Final Fantasy VI ) SNES Add to game list
2. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past SNES Add to game list
3. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas PS2 Add to game list
4. Super Mario World SNES Add to game list
5. Dragon Warrior IV ( Dragon Quest IV: Chapters... NES Add to game list
6. Chrono Trigger SNES Add to game list
7. EarthBound ( Mother 2 ) SNES Add to game list
8. Super Mario 64 N64 Add to game list
9. Silent Hill 2 PS2 Add to game list
10. BioShock Infinite PS3 Add to game list
11. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion PS3 Add to game list
12. Final Fantasy II ( Final Fantasy IV ) SNES Add to game list
13. GoldenEye 007 N64 Add to game list
14. Metroid NES Add to game list
15. Resident Evil 4 ( BioHazard 4 ) GC Add to game list
16. Tetris GB/C Add to game list
17. Metal Gear Solid PS1 Add to game list
18. The Orange Box PS3 Add to game list
19. Super Smash Bros. Melee GC Add to game list
20. Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King PS2 Add to game list
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Latest Game Review

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PC (Steam)
Possessed Phone, Who Dis?
3/5 stars

Developed by Kaigan Games, an indie game studio out of South East Asia, Simulacra is essentially an expansion on their first foray into horror, Sara is Missing. A straight adventure game that takes place entirely via a lost cellphone that comes into "your" hands, Simulacra works but is far from a perfect experience. Yet out of the many, many, many...


Recent Comments

Write On Profile

Nelson Schneider

Nelson Schneider- wrote on 10/18/21 at 11:43 PM CT
Alternativa Review comment


Yikes! But while we're on the topic of yelling at robots, you should definitely cuss-out the RNG dice roller that picked this turd for you to play this year.

Nelson Schneider

Nelson Schneider- wrote on 07/03/21 at 01:43 AM CT
Cyberpunk 2077 Review comment


How many hours did you get out of it? You seemed to be playing it for-EVAR.

Nelson Schneider

Nelson Schneider- wrote on 08/02/20 at 03:33 PM CT
Metro 2033 Review comment


I've seen "Metro Redux" (both games in a compilation) on sale for, like $4. There's no excuse!

Nelson Schneider

Nelson Schneider- wrote on 06/09/19 at 02:56 PM CT
Horizon: Zero Dawn Review comment


This is pretty much the ONLY PS4 exclusive I'm interested in. Maybe I'll get to play it if it comes to the Epic Store... or maybe I'll borrow your PS4 once you blow $500 on a PS5.

Nelson Schneider

Nelson Schneider- wrote on 06/09/19 at 02:30 PM CT
Oxenfree Review comment


Good write up. It almost makes me want to pull this game out of the Dump Truck and put it on the Backburner instead.

Nelson Schneider

Nelson Schneider- wrote on 05/09/19 at 05:02 PM CT
Celeste Review comment


"Sense of accomplishment?" Really? You're gonna spew that Souls Troll propaganda around here?

Nelson Schneider

Nelson Schneider- wrote on 12/02/18 at 02:38 PM CT
Prey Review comment


BTW, I really love the title of your review for this.

Chris Kavan

Chris Kavan- wrote on 11/18/18 at 04:26 PM CT
Prey Review comment


I fixed them just for you.



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What Members Are Doing

Comments about...

New Game Reviews

Hotshot Racing game review by Megadrive
SIMULACRA game review by Chris Kavan
Valkyria Chronicles 4 game review by Matt
Guilty Gear Xrd: Rev 2 game review by Megadrive
Hitman: Absolution game review by Chris Kavan
Demon's Souls game review by dbarry_22
Metroid Dread game review by dbarry_22
World of Final Fantasy game review by Nelson Schneider

New Game Lists

Top PC (Steam) Games by Chris Kavan
Top PlayStation 4 Games by Megadrive
Top to Bottom: Metroid by dbarry_22
Backlog by Nelson Schneider
Ranking the James Bond Video ... by SIngli6
Top Super Nintendo (SNES) Gam... by Jonzor
Top Game List by Barmak
Games I Want To Play by Shaneo99




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