Backlog: The Embiggening – December, 2022
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/27/22 at 02:40 PM CT
Welcome back, once again, to another look into the near future! The End is Nigh! That’s right, 2022, is rapidly approaching its Swan Song. December’s release schedule is usually a mess of rushed projects that have been delayed multiple times, but whose publishers are desperate to get them out the door before the end of the year in order to – dubiously – get some black ink on the ledger. December also provides the final opportunity of the year to trick and deceive consumers into buying the wrong products as Winter Solstice Holiday gifts to help loved ones get through the longest and coldest nights of the year. Let’s see if any of this December’s releases are worth getting excited about, or if they’d be better off burnt as Yule Logs.
Shoveware is quite a bit lighter than it has been for the past few months, and decidedly non-existent compared to this time of year, historically. But there’s still some, and it falls into two out of the three major categories. In …
The Top 10 Ugliest Pokemon
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/20/22 at 03:34 PM CT
Like clockwork, a new generation of ‘Pokemon’ games has dropped, with the recent release of “Pokemon Scarlet Version” and “Pokemon Violet Version,” and the fanbase is already complaining that the new designs for the titular pocketable monsters are worse than ever. Far be it from me to be a contrarian (j/k), but ugly pokemon isn’t exactly a new phenomenon. I’ve personally been offended by quite a few pokemon designs going all the way back to the beginning. Here’s my short list of the worst.
10. Shelmet"The first time I ran into a Shelmet in “Pokemon GO,” I couldn’t believe this thing made it past the Western Censors. Sure, it’s a clam that has a knightly armor-like helmet… for a shell… but the clam part also looks undeniably like a disturbing penis. Seeing this pokemon in motion, with its facial dong wobbling around just makes things worse. I never actually call Shelmet “Shelmet” when talking about ‘Pokemon,’ though, I simply call it "Penis …
Oculus Founder, Palmer Luckey, Creates Ultimate ‘Dark Souls’ Accessory
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/13/22 at 01:46 PM CT
The insufferable, elitist Souls Trolls of the Cult of From have a new opportunity to ‘git gudder’ thanks to VR Magnate, Palmer Luckey, who founded the Oculus company in 2012 before selling out to Facebook/Meta in 2014. Luckey is no Elon Musk – that is, an ignorant rich boy who buys extant ideas and milks money out of them – but started building the technology underpinning Oculus VR from scratch in his parents’ garage in 2010. It seems that, even as a wealthy sellout and Donald Trump fanboy, Luckey can’t stop tinkering, and in November 2022 revealed his latest creation: A VR headset packed with explosives that kills the user if they die in-game.
I have long pined for such a device. Not for myself, of course. I, personally, like gaming because it’s all low-risk, no-stakes entertainment, not to mention a fantastic medium for storytelling. However, the constant droning of Souls Troll mantras across the gaming sectors of the Internet has made me wish they could truly live …
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