Rating of
4/5
King of the Ring
Chris Kavan - wrote on 11/08/25
From Software is a the developer equivalent of a masochist's dream. Because whom among us doesn't like being punished from time to time? Elden Ring is their most approachable game but still made me rage and cuss and ragecuss like I haven't in a long while... and that was all while completely avoided the PvP aspect and just playing the story mode. From Software is NOT known for great storytelling and while Elden Ring certainly has a story - I spent most of the game running around various areas and killing whatever - in caves, in tombs, in swamps - and had to wiki the damn side quests, most of which are far too easy to skip along the way, especially as the game doesn't often point you in any direction whatsoever.
Looks and Stuff: Not going to lie, the game looks amazing. Visually stunning in its environments as is the creature design, whether riding through red-rot infested lands, ice-covered plains or prowling through deadly tombs the game provides ample areas to explore and often lots of hard-to-reach places for the intrepid. As varied as the landscapes are your enemies from common soldiers to massive dragons, multi-armed mutants to madness-causing giants - Elden Ring throws out a plethora of death at every turn. Hell, I found some of the most infuriating battles didn't involve the story-driven bosses, but just some random fights along the way. A lot of the time these not-quite-mini bosses will drop a weapon, spell or other such item too - and keep you on your toes. One thing I found is that as you level up it does get easier to go back to areas once skull-poundingly difficult and find it much more approachable. While there is not a ton of voice acting compared to other games of its size, those involved do a fine job. Likewise the music is suitably subtle or epic depending on the moments and boss battle especially have some grand movements. Even the cosmetics that come with weapons/armor are impressive in their own right. This is a game that plains looks good all around. As for problems? The worst I found was that it did stutter a bit, especially during longer sessions, but I never ran into any game-breaking bugs or crashed even once.
Story: Le sigh. The game has a cursory introduction - Elden Ring destroyed, pieces scattered, demi-gods fighting over it, wars fought, lands blighted and now order needs to be restored so some people are revived - including you a lowly "tarnished" and maidenless (oh ye meme gods have mercy). But you soon find yourself a companion - Melina NOT to be confused with Malenia or Marika or Morgott or Margit - and, you know what? This game has way too many names that sound alike - be more creative you cretins! Anyway, she gives you a great spectral horse you can ride around with and thusly acts as your guide for the remainder of the game. Your whole quest revolves around becoming the next Elden Lord, which mainly means beating down all the demigods and getting their great runes in order to make it the capitol city of Leyndell where the Erdtree resides - and the Elden Ring. But, of course, it turns out the area is protected by an impenetrable barrier, so you have to burn the whole thing down - taking you on another quest to beat down even more badass enemies. There are also a ton of side quests you can do but almost all of them are murky and vague and, as stated, I had to consult wikis just to figure out what to do and even then I screwed up enough early on to miss out on some altogether. The game could have done with a a nice bestiary of some sort or lore books or something but the most you get are descriptions of various weapons, armor, spells and summon ashes that somewhat piece together a story. While the lore certainly is deep, it is not that readily accessible.
Gameplay: The sheer amount of customization is both impressive and mind-numbing. My build was strength/faith/holy so I was a tanky badass that occasionally used spells but mostly I just got in tight and wailed on enemies with my spear and tried to block/counter as best I could. Hey, it got me through. But the paths you can take... dual wielding bleed build? Magic-throwing cheeser? Rot? Fire? Lightning? One-hit kill everything somehow? It's all there! All you have to do is find the right combination of weapons/magic/armor/talismans/throwables/flasks and you can build any damn character you please. Plus, you can summon various creatures to fight with you - even a copy of your own damn character - or even call on a friend to help you out. I ignored all multiplayer functions as I still find PvP a fool's errand. But the game has a mind-boggling amount of sheer stuff - multitudes of weapons, from super fast katanas to massive hammers and even a jar cannon. Spears, swords, whips, claws, dual blades, staffs, daggers, shields - take your pick. You eventually find a place you can re-spec so if you don't like your current build, try out a new one. Magic is also varied and has several elements - fire, lightning, glintstone, dragon communion, rot, bestial, holy and is split into two types: Sorcery or Incantations. Sorcery is your magic - intelligence/mind while Incantations are more faith-based (which is what I used from time to time). And then you have armor - chest, arms, legs, head. And everything revolves around stats: Vigor, Mind, Endurance, Strength, Dexterity, Intelligence, Faith and Arcane. And every enemy you defeat, from lowly sheep to towering bosses, award you runes. Runes level you up and each level costs more and more runes. You die, you must collect your runes you dropped upon death. You die again before reaching your runes - bye-bye runes. Times I lost my runes when I should have upgraded: No comment (mostly would be cussing anyway). My OG build: strength, vigor, faith, endurance - some dex and mind negligible intelligence and arcane. I didn't use any magic and my dex was mainly for bows (ranged combat, especially against rank and file is helpful) and arrows are easily craftable. Vigor govern HP, Endurance lets you equip heavy armor/weapon as well as governs stamina - strength is damage, faith is for the incantations. The biggest pain for my build is I was always pretty damn slow, even with higher endurance.
Most of the game is running (or riding) around exploring as you see fit. I conquered every dungeon I could: caves, tombs, minor bosses - and tried to do as many side quests as I could (even if I had to cheat a bit). I only got the one ending (I didn't save state for any others) so if I did decide to return it would be to see the other ones and probably try out a different build - but I may give it a long rest before diving back in. And I really don't want to think about the DLC.
Replay value: The game offers you a new game+ every time you beat it, giving you tougher enemies but also more runes to level up, the change to find two of every weapon and extra healing items. Technically you also have to play several times to unlock each ending (without using save states) and certain choices can lock you out of various quest so, yes, the game provides plenty of incentive to re-experience the pain and punishment again and again.
Final Verdict: While I'm not heaping all my praise unto thee, Elden Ring, you did test me without breaking me - and maybe one day I'll be back to finish out a few things I didn't get to the first time around (looking at you, Malenia).
Presentation: 5/5
Story: 3/5
Gameplay: 4/5
Replay: 5/5
Overall (not an average): 4/5
Hours Played: 218.8
Cheevos: 76% (32/42)
