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Dwarfs!?
PC (Steam)
*Grumble, Grumble*
2.5/5 stars
“Dwarfs!?” is yet another take on the inscrutably-popular sub-sub-genre of strategy games on PC that are referred to as ‘digging games’ by their fans. Having read enough about “Dwarf Fortress” and “Minecraft” to know that I want nothing to do with them, I have still been interested enough in learning more about this sub-sub-genre that I was wanted to try out some of the less-obsessive games that incorporate ‘digging game’ mechanics. I figured “Dwarfs!?” was as good a place to start as any. Developed by Power of 2, “Dwarfs!?” is intended to offer a more fast-paced experience than typical ‘digging games,’ taking inspiration from classic titles like “Lemmings.” “Dwarfs!?” also comes in two versions: a free-to-play version that comes with all the core gameplay, and a $10 version that comes with a number of bonus modes. Of course, during a Steam sale, the full version was knocked-down to $2.50, which is close enough to ‘free’ that I figured it was worth it for the bonus modes. I was wrong.
Presentation
“Dwarfs!?” is a 2D, top-down, sprite-tile-based game that looks incredibly 16-bit. Of course, the enormous, randomly-generated maps would have been outside the capabilities of 16-bit era hardware. The sprites look nice, though the tiles really look tiled when zoomed all the way out. The dwarfs themselves are minimally animated and tiny, as are the enemies they encounter in their underground abode.
The soundtrack in “Dwarfs!?” is kind of goofy, featuring really happy, bouncy tunes. The music would almost be a better fit for a game about gnomes, but that’s just being nitpicky. The most surprising thing about “Dwarfs!?’” audio is that there is voiceacting. Yes! Voiceacting in a no-budget Indie game! Of course, the only voiceacting is in the ‘campaign’ mode, wherein a dwarf named ‘Awesome Dwarf’ explains each scenario. While the performance in the voiceacting is good (especially for an Indie game) the quality of the recording is not… voices broadcast over Steam chat actually sound just as good.
Story
The only real story in “Dwarfs!?” is that ‘dwarfs always dig too deep.’ This phrase has pretty much become a meme at this point. The ‘campaign’ mode does feature a handful of scenarios that had some creative writing skill put into them, with a lot of silly dwarf, beard, and beer-based humor. Outside of this tiny bit of fluff, there is no overarching narrative or even an excuse for the action in “Dwarfs!?,” much to the game’s detriment.
Gameplay
The ‘digging game’ mechanics at the core of “Dwarfs!?” cause an endless stream (actually more of a trickle) of digger dwarfs to leave the townhall that appears at the center of each randomly-generated map. These digger dwarfs can be controlled only vaguely by spending in-game gold to lay down direction arrows on the ground. When not on an arrow, a digger dwarf moves randomly, digging through the soft dirt that makes up the bulk of each map. As digger dwarfs dig, they can burrow their way into caves, which are marked as black areas on the map. Caves contain either treasure, water (which causes floods), lava (which causes floods and fires), enemies (who move to attack and kill digger dwarfs), or bosses (who summon an endless number of lesser enemies). To fight their battles, the digger dwarfs rely on warrior dwarfs, who can be spawned from the townhall or any outpost. Of course, outposts cost gold, as do warrior dwarfs. Warrior dwarfs don’t do anything besides patrol the area around their outpost unless guided toward some enemies via an arrow (which is tedious and expensive) or fired out of the outpost cannon (which allows them to land roughly where the player indicates and engage any nearby enemies). When a digger dwarf strikes water or lava, the player finally gets to participate in the game by ‘solidifying’ the soft dirt around the cave and blocking off the flow with walls and holes (the latter must be blasted with dynamite triggered by a suicidal dwarf), creating a ‘cave seal.’ Again, all of these actions cost gold, which accumulates slowly as digger dwarfs make their way through soft dirt or quickly as digger dwarfs make their way through any ore deposits they might stumble upon in their random diggings.
The basic mechanics in “Dwarfs!?” are sound and would make for a mildly entertaining, yet completely chaotic game if it wasn’t for the fact that the entire game is a time-based affair with no end goal other than high scores. Yes, the main ‘arcade mode’ allows the player to select a 5 minute, 15 minute, 30 minute, or 1 hour game and see if they can keep their suicidal dwarf enclave alive (and prosperous) for that long. That’s it. The game’s main menus says it has a ‘campaign’ mode, but this really just consists of a handful of stupidly-easy tutorials and a handful of stupidly-difficult challenges that place artificial restrictions on the player’s abilities. Of course, I was also quite frustrated by the complete lack of controller support in this game, yet was not engaged enough in the experience to bother making an Xpadder profile.
The other modes that come with the paid version of the game all focus around the same timer-based, score-based gameplay, but add other modifiers that I never found particularly compelling. There are, however, two bonus modes that break this mold and delve into new territory: Base Defend mode and Axe Throw mode. Axe Throw mode is, unfortunately, a horrible mini-game that doesn’t have anything to do with the ‘digging game’ mechanics central to “Dwarfs!?” but instead has the player control a single dwarf throwing axes at a carnival shooting gallery. Base Defend mode, on the other hand, is probably the single best thing in the game. Base Defend mode is a “Dwarfs!?” take on the tower-defense sub-genre, allowing the player to direct a digger dwarf (via arrows) to construct the paths on which enemies with approach the townhall at the center. The player then has access to a number of interesting towers that each have useful attack methods, and can place them alongside the dug paths with the goal of keeping enemies from reaching and beating-on the townhall. While I found Base Defend to be quite fun, it quickly lost its luster because, like the rest of the game, there is no real point other than getting a high score. The waves of enemies are endless and there’s no real, lasting progress to be made… but at least there’s no timer in this mode!
Overall
“Dwarfs!?” feels more like a $1 smartphone timewaster than any kind of ‘real’ strategy game. The arcade-style focus on high-scores and timers never engaged me back in the 8-bit era, and it still fails to be appealing now. “Dwarfs!?” is mildly enjoyable for a few hours, making the free-to-play model the preferable way of experiencing this game. Of course, tower-defense fans would then miss-out on the Base Defend bonus mode… but ultimately missing out on the best part of an almost-completely-uninteresting experience doesn’t really seem like anything to be upset about.
Presentation: 3/5
Story: 1/5
Gameplay: 3/5
Overall (not an average): 2.5/5
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