By Nelson Schneider - 06/28/25 at 08:24 PM CT
Welcome back to another look into the near future! We are, once again, right smack in the middle of the Summer Games Drought, with only the miserable offerings of various non-E3 digital game showcases to keep us looking toward the future. It’s no wonder publishers are so hung-up on porting and remastering old games, when there’s next to nothing truly new to look forward to.
Of course, the Summer Games Drought doesn’t prevent shovelware from raining down upon us. We’ve got Licensed Swill coming based on the ancient ‘The Phantom’ superhero, ‘The Lord of the Rings’ in “Tales of the Shire,” an OLD anime in “Hunter x Hunter x Nen x Impact,” and a newer anime in “Edens Zero.” In Swill that is 2 Cazual 2 Exist, Nintendo is christening the Switch 2 launch window with a ‘Mario Party’ game. Lastly, in Annualized Swill, EA is pooping out a ‘College Football’ game for 2026.
In new multi-platform releases, there are… a few titles, but nothing to get excited about. “Mado Monogatari: Fia and the Wondrous Academy” is the type of Weeb-bait, low effort RPG that I could tell was made by Idea Factory (or Compile Heart) just by glimpsing the cover art. “No Sleep for Kaname Date” is an Action/Adventure spinoff from ‘AI: The Somnium Files,’ for… whoever actually cares about that IP. “Wuchang: Fallen Feathers” is yet another lamentable attempt at creating an original game, but then deciding to make a Soulslike and flushing the whole thing down the toilet. “Shadow Labyrinth” is a simultaneously admirable and laughable attempt at making a new ‘Pac-Man’ style game, only with lots of dark imagery and edgy narrative. Then there’s “The Alters,” a management Sim-style game that seems to be a rip off of that one movie with Michael Keaton and that one movie with Matt “Fucking” Damon.
At last, we come to exclusives, those coveted titles that used to be the primary means of selling consoles, but now just seem to be a good way to bankrupt a studio. Steam and Nintendo have some exclusives coming in July, but Steam’s are both timed (with console migration slated for this fall), while Nintendo’s will be perpetually Nintendo. Starting with Steam, there’s a new 2D ‘Ninja Gaiden’ game, “Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound,” which looks like a SNES game, but, since it’s ‘Ninja Gaiden,’ probably plays like Mumblety-peg involving a claw hammer and one’s genitals. Steam is also getting “Luto,” a Psychological Horror Walking Simulator. Nintendo is gifting the Switch 2 another launch window title that doesn’t look like complete trash, but still doesn’t interest me: “Donkey Kong: Bananza.” Maybe it’s my irrational hatred of monkeys and apes, maybe Nintendo (and Rare) just never managed to snag me with the gameplay in ‘Donkey Kong’ spinoffs, but I’ll pass on this one.
Oh, dear, another month with nothing to get excited about. So sad.
Backlog Embiggened: +0
