ImaJAN Media Network
MeltedJoystick Home
   Games  Members
Search +
Searching... Close  
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?
  Login Using Facebook

Backlog: The Embiggening – March, 2023

View Nelson Schneider's Profile

By Nelson Schneider - 02/24/23 at 11:38 PM CT

Welcome back to another look into the near future! Winter and the last dregs of 2022 are officially behind us, once again, as Spring spoings into our lives, bringing with it superstitious Paschal holidays, seasonal allergies, crazy weather, and probably a whole bunch of terrible videogame releases. Let’s check on that last one…

We’re starting off Fiscal Year 2023 with corporate publishers pushing shovelware in all three major categories. In the Licensed Swill category, we’ve got “Peppa Pig: World Adventures” and “DC’s Justice League: Cosmic Chaos.” In the 2Cazul2Liv category, we’ve got the cringe-inducing “Parents vs. Kids” mini-game slop. And in the ‘We Release This Every Year Because You’re Dumb Enough to Keep Buying It’ category, there’s “EA Sports PGA Tour,” “WWE 2K23,” and “Monster Energy Supercross: The Official Videogame 6.” Yes, that’s actually the title!

Moving on to old crap pretending to be new crap we’ve got… OH HELL, WHY ARE THERE SOOOOO MANY! EFFing A, there are more ports, remakes, remasters, and otherwise rehashed games than ANYTHING ELSE coming in March. Oh, what a disaster… let’s start picking through this mess by pointing out that, as has been a trend for the last 5 years at least, the Nintendo Switch is the favored dumping group for these titles… I’d have though the Steam Deck’s existence would have cooled publishers’ desire to port their crap to a portable, but I guess not. Switch is getting “Norn9: Var Commons” (a PlayStation Vita game), “Horror Tales: The Wine,” “Train Life,” “Gunbrick: Reloaded” (an iOS game), “Sword of the Necromancer,” “Lost Words: Beyond the Page,” “Record of Agarest War,” “Little Witch Nobeta,” and “Moero Chronicle Hyper” all to itself in March (after other platforms have had their way with these games for… often years, even decades). The Switch will also be sharing “Demon Gaze EXTRA” (which is funnier if you swap the middle word for its English homonym), “Alice Gear Aegis CS” (another iOS game), “Cult of the Lamb,” “Eldest Souls,” “Blade Assault,” and “Chef Life” with at least one other new recipient. In non-Switch-related ports, the PS5 is getting “Aztech: Forgotten Gods”… from the Switch (gotcha!), Sony is finally pushing retail copies of “Trek to Yomi,” “Resident Evil 4” is being rehashed for the umpteenth time, Ubisoft is pushing “Anno 1800” to consoles for the first time (let’s hope they came up with a great controller interface and UI scheme), and both “Asterigios: Curse of the Stars” and “Transport Fever 2” are hitting consoles at retail.

Eugh… I need to rinse and spit with my brain after processing that cluster of crap.

Moving onto actual new games, we’ve got… a surprisingly healthy-sized slate of multi-plats… with an even more surprising number of games that Chris copypasta’d into the database as “RPGs.” Hmmm… well, starting off, it’s not promising, with “Atelier Ryza 3” and “Legend of Heroes: Trails of Azure” keeping lame IPs going for way longer than they should. “Mato Anomolies” is a new IP that seems to be a confusing mix of Gilded Age and Neo Futurism… so, a setting that’s a fusion of ‘BioShock’ and ‘Cyberpunk’ but with a turn-based RPG under the hood… intriguing. Then there’s the only game of the month I am and have been excited about, which is the ‘Suikoden’ spiritual successor, “Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes,” which will be make-or-break for its Indie development team. Adjacent to RPGs, there’s a new Adventure game in “Windstorm: An Unexpected Arrival,” which is, apparently, a super-low-budget Eurojank game about girls riding horses. Then things go horribly wrong with not one, but TWO new EFFing Soulslikes to pollute the world with their unsellable stink: “Clash: Artifacts of Chaos” and “Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty.” PLEASE, DEVELOPERS, STOP DOING THIS!

Exclusives are pretty much non-existent. There is one, though. It’s a Switch game… and it’s apparently a prequel in the ‘Bayonetta’ series that Nintendo bought when they acquired Platinum Games: “Bayonetta Origins: Cereza and the Lost Demon.” Yeah, no thanks.

I’d just like to reiterate that any game developer who decides to make a Soulslike should buy one of Palmer Luckey’s ‘special’ VR headsets. Aside from that bit of world-weary wisdom, I’m looking forward to “Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes,” as I have been jonesing for a new ‘Suikoden’ game for well over a decade. I would say that I’m really looking forward to it, but I just finished playing its prologue, “Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising,” and was substantially unimpressed. “Mato Anomolies” also has some potential, but it just looks too weird and idiosyncratic to be a must-play.

Backlog Embiggened: +1

MeltedJoystick Gaming Blog RSS Feed

Avoid spam Captcha: Sign Up + or Log In +   



Previous Blog Posts


All Posts

February 2024

January 2024

December 2023

November 2023

October 2023

September 2023

August 2023

July 2023

June 2023

May 2023

April 2023

March 2023

February 2023

January 2023

December 2022

November 2022

October 2022

September 2022

August 2022

July 2022

June 2022

May 2022

April 2022

March 2022

February 2022

January 2022

December 2021

November 2021

October 2021

September 2021

August 2021

July 2021

June 2021

May 2021

April 2021

March 2021

February 2021

January 2021

December 2020

November 2020

October 2020

September 2020

August 2020

July 2020

June 2020

May 2020

April 2020

March 2020

February 2020

January 2020

December 2019

November 2019

October 2019

September 2019

August 2019

July 2019

June 2019

May 2019

April 2019

March 2019

February 2019

January 2019

December 2018

November 2018

October 2018

September 2018

August 2018

July 2018

June 2018

May 2018

April 2018

March 2018

February 2018

January 2018

December 2017

November 2017

October 2017

September 2017

August 2017

July 2017

June 2017

May 2017

April 2017

March 2017

February 2017

January 2017

December 2016

November 2016

October 2016

September 2016

August 2016

July 2016

June 2016

May 2016

April 2016

March 2016

February 2016

January 2016

December 2015

November 2015

October 2015

September 2015

August 2015

July 2015

June 2015

May 2015

April 2015

March 2015

February 2015

January 2015

December 2014

November 2014

October 2014

September 2014

August 2014

July 2014

June 2014

May 2014

April 2014

March 2014

February 2014

January 2014

December 2013

November 2013

October 2013

September 2013

August 2013

July 2013

June 2013

May 2013

April 2013

March 2013

February 2013

January 2013

December 2012

November 2012

October 2012

September 2012

August 2012

July 2012

June 2012

May 2012

April 2012

March 2012

February 2012

January 2012

December 2011

November 2011

October 2011

September 2011

August 2011

July 2011

June 2011

May 2011

April 2011

March 2011

February 2011

Log In
For members wanting to use FB to login, click here
remember me

What Members Are Doing

Comments about...

New Game Reviews

Ginga Force game review by Megadrive
Tiny Tina's Wonderlands game review by Nelson Schneider
Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart game review by Nelson Schneider
MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries game review by Chris Kavan
Super Mario Bros. Wonder game review by Nelson Schneider
Rage 2 game review by Chris Kavan
Cthulhu Saves Christmas game review by Nick
The Legend of Zelda: Breat... game review by Nick

New Game Lists

Top Wii Games by Megadrive
Backlog (Multi-Player) by Nelson Schneider
My Backlog by Chris Kavan
Games I Own: Switch Digital by dbarry_22
Top Nintendo (NES) Games by Nick
Backlog by Matt
Top Game List by SIngli6
Top Game List by Jonzor




Contact Us Public Relations MeltedJoystick Friends    

Advertise and Business

Contacts Us


About us



Support Us

FAQ and Help

News and Press

Terms of Use


Are you sure you want to delete this comment?
Are you sure you want to delete this blog?