By Nelson Schneider - 01/29/23 at 04:32 PM CT

Welcome back to another look into the near future! February is already upon us, as 2023 gets off to a rocky and tumultuous start. As tech and media companies hemorrhage staff via mass layoffs, how will that affect the quality and quantity of game releases? It won’t! We’ll still be drowning in crap.

We’ve got a light shovelware load coming in February, with one particularly big release in there that will likely dominate the month: “Hogwarts Legacy.” Now, I’m in the camp that considers the ‘Harry Potter’ IP to be old news, and who didn’t enjoy either of the last two ‘Fantastic Beasts’ films, but apparently, some people just can’t get enough Potterverse (just ask my ex-girlfriend). Honestly, the only reason I’d even consider buying a Potterverse game would be to irk the trannies who hate J.K. Rowling for telling the truth. Other than that title, we’ve also got some Switch games based on cartoons: “Spongebob: Krusty Cook-Off” is a port of a mobile game, while “Digimon World: Next Order” is a port of a PlayStation game. Lastly, there’s “Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart,” a Kart Racing title based on the ‘Gigantosaurus’ Disney Junior cartoon… which is based on a children’s book by Johnny Duddle… yeah, that’s quite the chain of IP.

And speaking of ports, we’re getting a bunch of them in February, but, in a shocking twist of fate, they don’t make up the majority of the month’s releases! Once again, the Switch is the primary dumping ground, but the PlayStation 4 (yes, the old, obsolete one) is sharing over half of these Switch ports: “8Doors: Arum’s Afterlife Adventure,” “A Little Golf Journey,” “Kirby’s Return to Dreamland Deluxe” (the only thing in here that might warrant a re-purchase, if you don’t have a PC that can run the Dolphin Gamecube/Wii emulator), “Cogen: Sword of Rewind,” “Ender Lillies: Quietus of the Knights,” “Signalis,” “Undead Darlings,” “Ninja JaJaMaru,” “Vampire: The Masquerade – New York,” and “Kao the Kangaroo” all fall into that bucket. Then there’s a remaster of “Tales of Symphonia” hitting… last-gen consoles and “Tetris Effect: Connected” hitting last-gen-and-current-gen PlayStation and Xbox.

There are a butt-load of new multi-platform releases coming in February, which must mean, surely, that there’s something for everyone. First, there are a number of sequels coming to both popular and unpopular IPs. There’s “Blood Bowl 3,” for those who like excessively-violent Dark Fantasy football (not to be confused with Fantasy Football). There’s “Like a Dragon: Ishin!” for fans of Sega’s ‘Yakuza’ series who wish it took place during Japan’s feudal era instead of the modern day. Nippon Ichi has “Void Terrarium 2,” for people who like punishing themselves with bad NIS games and Roguelikes. Then Square-Enix has two sequels for us: “Octopath Traveler 2,” which I will be skipping due to the first game’s lack of coherent storytelling, and “Theatrhythm: Final Bar Line,” the latest in the series of ‘Final Fantasy’ spinoff Rhythm games, featuring music tracks from Square-Enix’s most-recent-and-least-popular entries in the series.

Perhaps most impressive about February is the amount of new IPs getting multi-platform releases. There’s a new repulsive Sci-Fi Soulslike in “Scars Above.” “Labyrinth of Zangetsu” looks like a visually stylish knock-off of ‘Wizardry,’ but the presence of the Roguelike tag on the game’s Steam page has me staying far away. “Wild Hearts” is a ‘Monster Hunter’ knock-off, so that’s a definite ‘skip.’ There’s “Wanted: Dead,” a new Zombie schlock game by the people responsible for ‘Ninja Gaiden,’ so… ew, another ‘skip.’ Nippon Ichi has a non-sequel for us, which is, somehow, another ‘Wizardry’ knock-off (2 knock-offs of the same dead IP in one month?!) in “Labyrinth of Galleria: The Moon Society,” which will probably suck by virtue of being made by NIS. “Clive ‘n’ Wrench” was originally a cancelled WiiU project that has finally exited Development Hell as the world’s most desperate ‘Ratchet & Clank’ knock-off. Last, but definitely not least, comes “Atomic Heart,” a new Alt-History FPS that caught my eye at E3, but definitely sounds like it could become a sleeper hit, if only the publisher, Focus (Home) can apply some level of quality control to it.

Finally, in the realm of exclusives, we have… the opposite of system sellers. PC is, surprisingly, getting an announced, timed exclusive for a couple months in… “Chef Life: A Restaurant Simulator”… by Cyanide and Nacon… ugh. Nintendo is the only other platform with exclusives coming in February… and they’re… well, just read the titles: “Let’s Play Curling!!” and “Cuddly Forest Friends.”

Well, being mildly excited about the pending release of “Atomic Heart” is better than the proverbial sharp stick-in-they-eye, I guess. But current trends in gaming are all pointing in the wrong direction. Not only are we still drowning in ports, but there are far too many new IPs trying to knock off the Soulslike genre, and just ending up with terrible, unpleasant games that not even Souls Trolls like.

Backlog Embiggened: +1