By Nelson Schneider - 03/20/22 at 03:47 PM CT

E3 2022 is just around the corner, and thanks to the continually-mutating COVID-19 virus, will most likely take the same form as last year’s all-digital show. Of course, some “people” (and I mean that in the corporate sense of the word) are still pouty about being mocked for their miserable E3 presentations of years past, and are thus continuing to do their own thing. Sony is the most high-profile example of such pouting – since at least Nintendo does release a special Direct video for E3 each year – and has started releasing “State of Play” videos instead, showcasing upcoming releases that they think will get the PlayStation fanbase all fired up.

Now, I established a few years ago that I simply do NOT connect with the PlayStation fanbase anymore, even after being one of the first in my high school to jump ship from Nintendo to Sony during the early days of the PlayStation 1 vs. Nintendo 64 console wars, showing my willingness to abandon any platform I perceived as a sinking ship, without irrational fanboyism tying me down. Thus, watching any of Sony’s propaganda these days is incredibly painful – on par with watching Xbox propaganda during the days of the Gamecube and PlayStation 2. Mercifully, the current State of Play video is a short one, clocking in at 21 minutes, and focused entirely on game trailers. Unfortunately, almost everything Sony is trying to peddle to its fans is the kind of stuff that shows just how far Sony has fallen over the last 3 generations.

Good: “The DioField Chronicle,” “Valkyrie Elysium”

I honestly didn’t think there would be ANYTHING in this category, but Square-Enix managed to save Sony’s ass (as they have a history of doing) with a couple of new titles that look palatable. While I trust Square-Enix about as far as I can throw their corporate headquarters due to the company’s constant half-truths, misrepresentations, and overall terrible game releases as of late, both “The DioField Chronicle” and “Valkyrie Elysium” have my attention. “DioField” appears to be the type of Tactical RPG that the ‘Growlanser’ series used to be. It’s also a new IP, meaning that fan expectations and IP baggage should be kept in check, allowing it to stand on its own… or flop. “Valkyrie Elysium” is the long-time-coming sequel to the ‘Valkyrie Profile’ series published by Enix before the merger, with “Valkyrie Profile” and “Valkyrie Profile 2: Simeria” being some of the best RPGs on the PlayStation 1 and PlayStation 2, respectively. The series died after disastrous DS and Mobile spin-offs, and Square-Enix has a mixed track record when it comes to resurrecting dead IPs, so we’ll wait and see. Oh! And both of these games aren’t PlayStation exclusive! So I can buy them on my platform of choice! Everyone wins!

Bad: “Exoprimal,” “Ghostwire Tokyo,” “Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin,” “Forspoken,” “Gundam Evolution,” “Gigabash,” “Trek to Yomi,” “Returnal: Ascension ‘Free’ DLC”

For the most part, though, Sony showed off stuff I wouldn’t buy if I owned a current PlayStation, and wouldn’t play if given for free. “Exoprimal” is some sort of dumb Team Shooter, mixed with hoard defense elements where people in mech suits fight dinosaurs that rain out of the sky. Okay. “Gundam Evolutions” is a PvP Arena Shooter, banking on the name recognition of the ‘Gundam’ IP to gather an audience in an oversaturated genre. “Gigabash” is yet another PvP game, featuring Japanese kaiju in a rather archaic-looking top-down battle system. Sony also harped on quite a bit of older stuff that they’ve shown off before, such as “Ghostwire Tokyo,” “Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin,” “Forspoken” – which now looks like a hot mess of open-world nonsense trying to thread the needle between ‘Horizon’ and “Elden Ring” – and a ‘free’ update to big-budget Roguelike trash “Returnal,” enabling online coop… for those who pay for PlayStation Plus. Yeah… ‘free.’ None of those titles look any better/less-bad than they did the first time we saw them. Indeed, “Trek to Yomi” is the only new single-player game shown off, and it honestly looks like a pretentious Indie title, with black-and-white visuals and janky-looking combat. But it has samurai in it, so the weebs in Sony’s fanbase will rush out and buy 10 copies each… or they would if it wasn’t a digital-only game.

Ugly: “TMNT: Cowabunga Collection,” “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle R”

Lastly, we come to the ugly games. What makes a game “ugly” rather than “bad”? Well, the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Cowabunga Collection” is ugly because it’s an unenhanced ROM collection that will probably be sold for an egregious amount of money… and most of the old ‘TMNT’ games were pretty bad in their own right. Then there’s “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle R,” which is ugly because it’s a remaster of a PlayStation 3 game and… well JUST LOOK AT IT! Those character designs are why ‘normal’ people mock anime.