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By Nelson Schneider - 11/18/18 at 03:50 PM CT
The Paleo-Switch experiment is still ongoing! I have owned my Switch for just short of a year, and have yet to connect it to the Internet for any reason. Granted, my library of Switch games is currently horrifically tiny, so it’s possible things will still fall apart as the experiment continues.
One company that it seems is desperately trying to deep-six the Internet-free Paleo-Switch is Ubisoft. Those French bastards decided to release a DLC expansion for their amazing TRPG collaboration with Nintendo, “Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle,” which I reviewed favorably early this year. The DLC, entitled “Donkey Kong Adventure,” is a side story for the game, starring everyone’s favorite tie-wearing gorilla, Reggie Fils-Aime DK. I was upset about missing out on this download-only content, but figured there was nothing I could do about it.
Then I read that the regulation-loving EU was receiving a special physical edition of “Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle” that would include the DLC as part of the bundle: “Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle – Gold Edition.” After nearly going into cardiac arrest upon seeing the import price for this version of the game on Amazon Marketplace, I added it to my wishlist, bided my time, and waited patiently, as I do with so many things gaming related. When the game dropped to around $50 USD, I swallowed hard and bought it, hoping to delight in a complete version of the best TRPG in years.
When my game arrived from the UK, I eagerly opened it up, planning to pop the cartridge into my Switch immediately to play the new content. But then I saw something terrible: Pinned inside the game case was a slip of printed paper with Donkey Kong’s face on it as well as a serial code.
Yup! The “Gold Edition” isn’t gold at all, but a heaping helping of Fool’s Gold, since the extra content isn’t on the game card, but still requires a separate download from the Nintendo eShop. Hell, the game card included in the “Gold Edition” case is identical in every way to the original release! Not even the label is different!
Alas, I will not be playing “Donkey Kong Adventure,” as I will not compromise my principals or the Paleo-Switch Experiment and bow to what Nintendo and Ubisoft, and every other dumpster fire “AAA” publisher wants me to do. Well, at least I won’t be playing it until there’s a working Switch emulator out there. In this day and age of scummy publisher practices, ALWAYS double check that a “complete” edition actually is before you buy it!
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