ImaJAN Media Network
MeltedJoystick Home
   Games  Members
Search +
Searching... Close  
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?
  
 
  Login Using Facebook
Twitter
 
     

Heís Everywhere II!: Pokemon Edition

View Nelson Schneider's Profile

By Nelson Schneider - 03/05/17 at 03:25 PM CT

Last year, when I roasted Chris for his birthday, I had to cull down the large list of Chris-like videogame characters to a mere 10 for the article. This year for Chrisí birthday, which was yesterday, and in honor of the big ĎPokemoní anniversary that took place recently, I have decided to create another list of videogame characters that remind me of Chris, but this time, I will be limiting them to the collectible critters of the pocket monsters universe.

If you ever think youíve encountered one of these pokemon in the wild, donít whip out your pokeballs and berriesÖ just run away! Itís probably actually Chris.

10. Darumaka (#554)

"Itís small. Itís round. Itís bizarre-looking. It looks inexplicably happy, despite a roaring internal fire. Somehow this pokemon is even more disturbing than Chris, as its Pokedex entry describes how people love to put its hot droppings inside their clothing in order to stay warm. If anyone put Chris droppings in their clothing, they should be taken far away and locked up in a mental health institution."




9. Munchlax (#446)

"No, Chris isnít quite a Snorlax yet. Instead, his bi-polar behavior is more reminiscent of the Munchlax, which hyperactively runs around stuffing its face with snacks before crashing in a well-fed stupor. I have disposed of more partial bags of stale chips by feeding them to Chris than I care to remember."




8. Togepi (#175)

"Togepi broke into the public eye in the care of an underage redheaded girl, much like Chris wants to be. This pokemonís overall lack of useful skills (one of its earliest moves is Metronome), round body, baggy eyes, and buzz-cut-like head just add to its Chris-ness."




7. Snorunt (#361)

"Chris and I were in the Boy Scouts of America together, and as a result, I got to spend a lot of weekends with him doing cold-weather camping. Chris was infamous for wearing ridiculously oversized stocking caps, and the look on his face while sitting in a tent in the snow was always very reminiscent of Snoruntís displeased grimace."




6. Gulpin (#316)

"Its round body, closed eyes, and perpetually dazed-looking expression make Ďthe stomach pokemoní very reminiscent of Chris. The fact that itís a Poison type ramps the similarities even higher, as everyone knows better than to share a bag of chips or box of cookies with Chris, unless they want a huge dose of his germs."




5. Ditto (#132)

"The fact that itís a simpy-looking blob could be enough to get it on this list alone. However, Ditto is known for its complete lack of originality, as it never battles in its own form, but takes on the form of its opponent. Chrisí love of pop culture nonsense has turned him into a Ditto-like font of regurgitation. Conversations with Chris inevitably lead to him spouting movie/book/TV quotes instead of any original thoughtsÖ and then giggling about his own cleverness."




4. Swinub (#220)

"The turned-up snout. The closed eyes. The body hair. Yep, this is Chris, 100%. However, the relatively small size, short hair length, and stripes hearken back to the days of our youth, when Chris loved to wear striped shirts to high school."




3. Piloswine (#221)

"Look at what 20 years will do! Chris Ďevolvedí from a cute, little Swinub into his current Piloswine form thanks to the ravages of time. And junk food. And alcohol."




2. Shroomish (#285)

"Shroomish is the closest thing to a Cave Squig the pokemon universe has. Just look at it! Itís an angry little fungus with a round body and fur-like tufts."




1. Slakoth (#287)

"The ultimate Chris-like pokemon has to be Slakoth. Every Slakoth is stuck with the Truant passive ability, which only allows it to do something on every other turn in a battle. The Pokedex entries describe its supreme laziness in detail, relating how it is almost always found sleeping, few people ever witness it moving, and that it loafs around for over 20 hours per day."

Share:    
MeltedJoystick Gaming Blog RSS Feed
Comments
1 comments
Name: 

Avoid spam Captcha: Sign Up + or Log In +   
 
View Chris's Profile

Chris

Wrote on03/06/17 at 08:05 PM CT

If only I could loaf around for 20 hours a day... usually I'm lucky if it's 8.

Write on Profile +

Bloggers

Previous Blog Posts

Archive

All Posts

June 2017

May 2017

April 2017

March 2017

February 2017

January 2017

December 2016

November 2016

October 2016

September 2016

August 2016

July 2016

June 2016

May 2016

April 2016

March 2016

February 2016

January 2016

December 2015

November 2015

October 2015

September 2015

August 2015

July 2015

June 2015

May 2015

April 2015

March 2015

February 2015

January 2015

December 2014

November 2014

October 2014

September 2014

August 2014

July 2014

June 2014

May 2014

April 2014

March 2014

February 2014

January 2014

December 2013

November 2013

October 2013

September 2013

August 2013

July 2013

June 2013

May 2013

April 2013

March 2013

February 2013

January 2013

December 2012

November 2012

October 2012

September 2012

August 2012

July 2012

June 2012

May 2012

April 2012

March 2012

February 2012

January 2012

December 2011

November 2011

October 2011

September 2011

August 2011

July 2011

June 2011

May 2011

April 2011

March 2011

February 2011

 
Log In
 
For members wanting to use FB to login, click here
remember me
 
 

What Members Are Doing

Comments about...

New Game Reviews

Lara Croft and the Guardia... game review by Nelson Schneider
The Legend of Zelda: Breat... game review by dbarry_22
Blaster Master Zero game review by dbarry_22
Terranigma game review by Nelson Schneider
Krater: Shadows Over Solsi... game review by Nelson Schneider
Slender: The Arrival game review by Chris Kavan
Yet Another Zombie Defense game review by Chris Kavan
Lara Croft and the Temple ... game review by Chris Kavan

New Game Lists

Backlog by Nelson Schneider
Top Game List by dbarry_22
Top PC (Steam) Games by Chris Kavan
Top Game List by Jonzor
Top Super Nintendo (SNES) Gam... by Jason
Games I've Played by Wajiha Ali Khan
Top Game List by csanicola
Top Casual Games by Elizabeth

 

 

 

Contact Us Public Relations MeltedJoystick Friends    

Advertise and Business

Contacts Us

Jobs

About us

SiteMap

 

Support Us

FAQ and Help

News and Press

Terms of Use

Privacy

Hitfix.com

Amazon.com

OVGuide.com

   
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?
  
Are you sure you want to delete this blog?