By Nelson Schneider - 08/30/15 at 03:22 PM CT

Summer’s officially over, and the lion’s share of gaming’s demographic is going Back to School... yet now is the time that game publishers have – after four months of barren, desolate drought – decided to flood store shelves with a large quantity of releases. Why do publishers do this when they know very well that their potential customers will have much less free time to play games and much less disposable cash to spend on them once they’re back in school instead of lazing about at their part-time Summer jobs? My guess is that it’s the same reason the game industry does a lot of questionable thing: Stupidity and/or Greed.

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There is a LOT of shovelware this month. Of course, only a small quantity of the stuff is based on other IPs. In that particular sub-set of shovelware, we have a new LEGO game (because, why not?!) and a game based on the new “Mad Max” movie (which Chris says is awesome) blasting as many platforms as possible, while a new ‘Hatsune Miku’ title and a game based on Jeff Foxworthy’s TV gameshow “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader” are targeting only the 3DS. Let’s not forget the new “Skylanders SuperChargers” figurine-selling game that will include special Nintendo figures that can act as both Skylanders and Amiibos.

The rest of the shovelware is particularly distressing to me, because it is ALL SPORTS TITLES. Do we really need new entries in all of these sports franchises EVERY year? Isn’t one release per Generation enough? NO?! At least this shovelware releasing in September makes sense, as it can tie-in neatly with the sport-obsessing rituals that seem to be a universal part of college campuses starting up for another year of drinking, gambling, and fornicating disguised as education. There is a new hockey game, TWO new basketball games, another TWO new soccer games, and a new entry in the long-dormant ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater’ franchise. The final sports title releasing in September is also based on a Game’s Workshop tabletop game – “Blood Bowl 2” – and represents the closest thing to a sports title I could enjoy. “Blood Bowl’s” social commentary representing pro athletes (especially football players) as sub-human monsters who delight in violence, crime, and death is remarkably on the nose.

Since it’s still the 8th Generation, we’re still getting a steady flow of ports and remasters. The PS3 is getting the “Syberia Complete Collection” and the “Disgaea Triple Play Collection,” while the Vita is getting a port of “Farming Simulator 16,” for those who desperately need to simulate farming while on the go. The last two ports/remasters in September are somewhat unique in that they are both physical console ports of formerly digital-only titles: “Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons” and “Teslagrad.” I strongly approve of this move toward releasing digital games in tangible form! It needs to happen more often!

Mainstream multi-platform releases in September – indeed ALL releases during the month – are being overshadowed by the multi-platform release of “Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain.” I have never had a single iota of interest in ‘Metal Gear,’ so the reason for the hype escapes me. Aside from that one game, multi-platform releases are thin on the ground, with only “Grand Ages: Medieval” coming to PC and PS4 and “The Book of Unwritten Tales 2” coming to PC, PS4, and XBONE.

There are a surprising number of exclusives coming this month, and fairly evenly spread among the platforms, to boot! PC is getting Arcade Action title “Cruel Arena,” two RTSes in the form of “Company of Heroes 2” and “Act of Aggression,” as well as a brand-new honest-to-God D&D-based RPG, “Sword Coast Legends.” I’m really excited about that last one, since there hasn’t been a decent D&D RPG in ages and this new one is based on the new 5th Edition ruleset.

Japan has acknowledged Sony’s domination of the console market with the PS4, as it will be getting a new ‘Nobunaga’s Ambition’ title and a late-model ‘Final Fantasy’-style sequel in the ‘Musou’ franchise, “Samurai Warriors 4-II.” The PS4 will also be getting a sequel to the Vita platformer, “Tearaway.” At least I think it’s a sequel and not a port…

The XBONE and WiiU are each getting ONE title. XBONE is getting a new ‘Forza Motorsport’ racing game, while the WiiU is getting “Super Mario Maker,” which aims to put the ‘Super Mario Bros.’ ROM-hacking community out of business. I’m a sucker for 2D ‘Mario’ games, but I’m worried that the user generated content will suck… as usual.

Each of the two handhelds is getting TWO games all to itself. The 3DS is getting a new, predatory ‘Animal Crossing’ spinoff that isn’t even a complete game (and looks like it would be a shoe-in for a microtransaction engine if it were a phone game instead of a dedicated handheld game) as well as a sequel in the ninja boob-touching simulator series, “Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson.” The Vita is getting… *gag*… a ‘Persona’ spinoff that isn’t an angsty Japanese teenager RPG, but an angsty Japanese teenager DANCING game… and a ‘Danganronpa’ sequel NOBODY asked for. It’s like Vita developers aren’t. even. trying. anymore! Not that I blame them…

Hooray, September will be the first month in a long, long time that has any games that interest me! I’ll be grabbing “Sword Coast Legends” off Steam with great excitement, and “Super Mario Maker” with less, more dubious excitement. Of course, with 33 games releasing in September, the fact that only two of them made my cut is pretty pathetic.

Backlog Embiggened: +2