Backlog: The Embiggening – March, 2020
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 02/23/20 at 03:15 PM CT
Welcome back to another look into the near future. With the onset of March, we bid farewell to the misery of Winter and begin to look forward to the rebirth ceremonies associated with Springtime and the Spring Equinox, representing the long-fought victory of warmth, light, and life over cold, darkness and death. March is also the month that traditionally “comes in like a lion and out like a lamb”… but it looks like both of those animals had chronic diarrhea, based on the games being released this month.
As per the usual, we’ve got three piles based on kids’ TV coming in March, two based on anime and one based on something far worse. The anime games are based on the grammatically-torturous “My Hero Ones Justice” and the questionably-drawn “One Piece,” while the non-anime game is based on something called “Gigantosaurus,” but conveniently includes “The Game” in the title, calling itself out as shovelware for those who might just think “Gigantosaurus” …
Can’t Stoppy That Copy
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 02/16/20 at 03:20 PM CT
The other day while doing some late-night reading, I noticed a large scratch across my wrist and immediately thought, “Yikes! It looks like I tried to kill myself!” I don’t know why I thought that, considering the scratch most likely came from hauling a load of firewood without gloves, but the seed of that thought has stuck with me. Why do we, in the 21st Century, immediately think of suicide when we think of scratches or cuts on the wrist? By all accounts of medical professionals, it’s a highly inefficient and dubiously effective way of offing oneself, yet the idea sits in our collective psyche like a leaden weight.
While the idea of suicide itself is as ancient as the human species, the slitting of the wrists is not a concept of ancient origin, as our ancestors were typically much more efficient and dedicated, either in drinking poison (usually at the behest of the local government) or jamming a sword into the neck or abdomen, guaranteeing that they wouldn’t “get …
Console Gaming Deathwatch Enters Phase Three
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 02/09/20 at 03:27 PM CT
The long, slow death of console gaming is continuing at its leisurely pace. The first phase was the “singularity,” in which all consoles and PC became largely undifferentiated due to the rampant multi-platforming of third-party game releases. The second phase was when consoles themselves ceased to be profitable and network infrastructure began to be the primary source of revenue for platform holders.
Recently, Sony announced that it would be following Microsoft’s example from 2016, and start releasing its first-party exclusive titles on PC in addition to PlayStation. Thus comes the third phase, the shedding of first-party exclusives and the loss of the last traditional differentiating feature of the various gaming platforms.
Back in 2018, Sony renewed its focus on first-party titles, with a corporate restructuring that placed a greater emphasis than ever on the concept of “making PlayStation the best place to play” by having stuff that gamers couldn’t get elsewhere. …
Backlog: The Embiggening – February, 2020
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 02/02/20 at 02:30 PM CT
Welcome back to another look into the near future. February is, thankfully, the shortest month of the year. It also signals the last official month of the Winter season here at MeltedJoystick. Not only can we look forward to breaking free from the grasp of the Winter doldrums, we can be grateful that another month of crap releases will fly by in the blink of an eye.
It’s another month, and of course there’s shovelware. There’s a new J-Fighting game coming based on the “One Punch Man” anime. There are also two officially licensed Game of the Game takes on vehicular mayhem, with a port of the latest ‘Monster Jam’ monster truck driving sequel to the Switch, and another ‘Monster Energy Supercross’ motorcycle/dirtbike game. Lastly, we’ve got “Doug Flutie’s Maximum Football 2019.” This game is not yet an annualized sequel like ‘Madden Football,’ so why is it considered shovelware? Well, first of all, it has the name of a dried-up, washed-up old football ape …
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