By Nelson Schneider - 05/31/12 at 10:51 PM CT

Welcome to a new monthly feature on MeltedJoystick, in which I take a look at the games coming in the next month, then weep at the fact that my backlog just refuses to get any smaller. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, at least for me) this month’s new releases look mostly like uninteresting swill. Let’s get down to it.

It wouldn’t be a month in modern gaming without the release of at least three First-Person Shooters, and June looks like it won’t disappoint with the releases of “Inversion,” a Tom Clancy game, and “Borderlands 2.” For those who like to see their character’s back, there’s also the Third-Person Shooter, “Spec Ops: The Line.” Yawn.

And a month never goes by without huge publishers smearing licensed garbage across every platform capable of running it (or a version of it). This month we’re being graced with the presence of “Madagascar 3: The Video Game,” an iCarly game, “Brave: The Video Game,” “Lego Batman 2,” and “The Amazing Spider-Man.” Ugh! Who keeps buying these turds and encouraging the likes of EA and Activision to produce more?

Outside of the generic and the licensed, there’s not a whole lot of interest to be seen. Handhelds seem to be pretty neglected, with “Gungnir” on the PSP and “Pokemon Conquest” on the DS as the only stand-out titles, while the handhelds that are actually current get the shaft with gimmicks like “Gravity Rush” or versions of games that are also available on their predecessors. There’s a compilation of PSN games coming out on disc (which makes me happy), but only one of those games is worth playing (which makes me sad).

The most noteworthy releases for June look to be “Record of Agarest War 2,” a sequel to a major dud of a TRPG by the evil twins of Idea Factory and Compile Heart; “Lolipop Chainsaw,” an ultra-violent schoolgirl-meets-zombies Beat ‘em Up (let me tell you, Chris is really excited about this one); “Krater,” a retro RPG-like thing created by a random bunch of Swedes; and “The Last Story,” the long-awaited second game on Operation Rainfall’s list of must-have Wii RPGs.

Overall, it looks to be a pretty slow month. Of course, June is traditionally a slow month for game releases, as it’s almost diametrically opposed to the capitalistic orgasm that starts the day after Thanksgiving in the U.S. and ends on January 1st. We’re also in a transition period, with the PSP and DS acting as curmudgeonly hangers-on who refuse to die and let their children, the Vita and 3DS, inherit their positions. Not only that, but the Wii has been all but abandoned by Nintendo (one of the handful of publishers that ever made good games for it in the first place) in favor of the WiiU, which has been handled so secretly it may as well be vaporware. The PS3 and Xbox 360 look like they’re going to be around for a while still, sharing multi-platform releases of uninteresting games like the world’s most boring, pretentious twins.

While I might buy “Krater” eventually (Steam sale!), and I might buy “Pokemon Conquest” if Nintendo decides to include DS functionality in the WiiU, the only game I actually plan to buy in June is “The Last Story.” It looks to be a relaxing month.

Backlog Embiggened: +1