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Time Tenshi
PC (Steam)
Something of a Bust
2.5/5 stars
“Time Tenshi” (“TT”), meaning “Time Angels” in Japanese, is a 2015 Visual Novel about time traveling boobs created by Silver Cow Studios, a tiny international grouping of ecchi fans who decided to try to make some money by making some Visual Novels… About time travel and boobs. I like both of those things quite a bit, so I’ve been keeping an eye on “TT” and its various sequels since they started hitting Steam two years ago. Unfortunately, like so many ecchi artists, the folks at Silver Cow greatly overestimate the value of their work, and thus priced the original “TT” at a hilarious $10, occasionally allowing it to go on sale for $8. As of the Steam Summer Sale 2018, though, “TT” finally hit 75% off, bringing it down to $2.50, so I sprang for it… and found a disappointing VN that might be worth a buck at most.
Presentation
“TT” is a visual novel built in the free Ren’Py Engine. For those unfamiliar with the genre, Visual Novels typically tell a somewhat linear narrative, frequently with romance options among a variety of attractive cardboard cutouts, and have different outcomes based on the player’s choices.
“TT” is no different, featuring static backdrops and cardboard cutouts of three different anime women, all of whom have at least F-cup busts, which enlarge to a certain degree due to story events. For a game that is supposed to appeal to lovers of big boobs, and more importantly, big boobs getting bigger, “TT” isn’t all that impressive. As far as I’m concerned, if an anime girl’s bellybutton is still visible while she’s standing in a fairly relaxed position, her boobs aren’t all that big.
Also of issue is the fact that “TT” uses character art from two different ecchi artists, and one is clearly more talented than the other. The cardboard cutouts of each girl that appear during dialogs look very nice, but the full-screen ‘bromide’ images that occur at various points in the story frequently suffer from perspective and anatomy issues. Honestly, anyone looking for big anime boobs would be better served by visiting DeviantArt.com, where there are tons of free anime boobs in much more impressive sizes drawn by much more talented artists. “TT” is also emphatically an ecchi game, meaning it’s perverted, but not outright erotic, so there are no nipples or full nudity (and there’s no optional patch to enable such).
Audiowise, “TT” isn’t anything impressive. The background music sounds very generic and stereotypical of the VN genre, and none of the girls are voiced. Though, I suppose not having to hear Japanese-porn-inspired squealing is a hidden blessing.
Technically, there’s nothing particularly wrong with “TT,” though it doesn’t support Xinput natively and has a dearth of configuration options, leaving it to run at its own set resolution.
Story
“TT” puts the player in the shoes of one Kenji Johnson, a bi-racial 18-year-old high school senior living somewhere in America whose life is turned upside-down when his house burns down and his parents both die in the fire. Unexpectedly, Kenji’s reclusive grandfather, Tensai, contacts him and offers to take him in after his parents’ deaths.
Taking Gramps up on the offer, Kenji soon finds himself living in a secret research lab funded by his grandfather’s private fortune, where the old man and a trio of ridiculously beautiful female geniuses have spent the last couple years working on an impossible device: A time machine, called the Time Window, that not only allows Tensai and his crew to view past events, but travel into them.
Time travel is not without its dangers, however, and the quantum energies involved have a strange effect on the female endocrine system, causing their breasts to swell-up as they travel to the past, and their minds to become clouded with drunken, horny thoughts as they travel back to the present.
As Kenji, who’s lack of higher education and skills makes him relatively useless to the Time Window team, outside of acting as a mascot or a second pair of hands, settles in to his new life, he gets to know Michelle, the elder redhead who actually operates the Time Window, Kyo, a green-haired Japanese girl who is obsessed with big boobs and videogames (I wonder which character we’re supposed to relate to…), and Rose, a blond British girl with heterochromatic eyes who grins and bears the quantum effects on her body with a stiff upper lip. All of these women are accomplished scientists, and the game’s narrative frequently pushes into an almost sarcastic SJW mode, with Kenji ‘respecting’ all three of them as hard as he can.
Eventually, a conflict arises, which Kenji, Gramps, and the girls sort-out, and ultimately Kenji has one choice. This choice leads to either a Bad End, or a Good End, while the choice itself feels very obvious from the outset of the story.
In general, though, for a story that is supposed to be a vehicle for big boobs getting bigger, the time travel aspects are remarkably well-written, and the entire thing feels well-thought-out. Yes, there are a handful of typos, and the script editor doesn’t understand the difference between ‘lay’ and ‘lie,’ but those aren’t flaws in the narrative, just bugs to be ironed out. The lack of any truly significant HOLY CRAP moments, and the fact that the biggest boobs are only referred to in text rather than images is far more disappointing.
“TT’s” main problem, though, is that it’s short. Really, really, horrifically short. As in, barely longer than the Steam refund window, short. For anyone with a high school reading level, “TT” will last almost exactly 2.5 hours. It isn’t even long enough to get all of its Steam Trading Cards to drop by playing it naturally, but requires idling to get that last one.
Gameplay
Visual Novels aren’t really known for their gameplay. They typically take the storytelling of a Cinematic game, strip away the huge budget required for Cinematics, substitute some static anime/comic art, and use branching dialog trees as the core gameplay mechanic.
“TT” falls flat in the fact that it only has 2 dialog options, both near the end, and only one of real consequence. The rest of those 2.5 hours of ‘gameplay’ consist merely of clicking to advance the text.
Overall
“Time Tenshi” comes to an abrupt end just when it feels like it’s getting started. The super-short length, inconsistent art, and the lack of vision with regard to what defines ‘big’ make it feel more like a tease or an advertisement for better stuff to come later. It’s not wholly awful, though, and the writing – the reason to play a VN at all – is actually decent. I’m not even sure why Silver Cow charges money for their ‘Time Tenshi’ series, though, since they run a Patreon, which, at time of writing, earns them $1500/month. If you’re going to make money from donations, you really should be giving away your product for free, or at least token payment, which $10 ain’t.
Presentation: 2.5/5
Story: 3.5/5
Gameplay: 1/5
Overall (not an average): 2.5/5
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