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Jonzor's Video Game Reviews (41)

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Final Fantasy XII: Reve... 2.5/5
MotoHeroz 4/5
The Legend of Zelda: Sk... 4/5
Super Smash Bros. Brawl 4/5
Muramasa: The Demon Bla... 3.5/5
Halo 3: ODST 3.5/5
Halo 3 4.5/5
Halo 2 3.5/5
Halo: Combat Evolved 4/5
The Legend of Zelda: A ... 5/5
Ogre Battle 64: Person ... 4.5/5
Super Metroid 5/5
Goof Troop 4/5
James Bond 007: Agent U... 4/5
Final Fantasy VII 3/5
Super Mario Bros. 3 5/5

Prev 25
 

Final Fantasy VII   PlayStation 

Yeah, I said it: Episode II    3/5 stars

Before anyone talks about Final Fantasy VII, I feel it's important to lay out what Final Fantasy games they had played and beaten before playing Final Fantasy VII. I personally had played Final Fantasy IV, Mystic Quest (if you count that one... yuck...) and Final Fantasy VI. Plus, some other Japanese RPGs, but we don't need to get into that.

What to say about this game... it's a mediocre game comprised of above average production values (sometimes) and some fun new gameplay ideas mixed in with some terrible gameplay ideas and awful random quirks.

Above average parts... um... well, the pre-rendered cutscenes were a treat to watch. Limit breaks added a fun wild card to battle that were great for turning the tide in a tough fight. The materia system added a lot of replay value to keep you coming back just to max out materia and use the cloned materia to create the ultimate fighting force with an unbeatable arsenal.

The below average? Well... how about the terrible MIDI soundtrack? Seriously? I thought the point of having the game on 3 CDs was so that you could use that extra storage space to build the game you really wanted... but then you pack the sounds in using that crappy quality format? What was the 3rd disk even FOR, more spikes in Cloud's hair, or just so you could make that idiot sword even bigger?

Before I stray too far from the soundtrack, I'd like to add that "One Winged Angel" is the most over-hyped piece of music in video game history. Yeah, it's "epic" and yeah, it's "dramatic", but it does so in the most cliche and uninspired ways possible. It's the vanilla ice cream of final boss music. If you want great final boss music, give "Dancing Mad" from Final Fantasy VI a try. In fact, just play all of Final Fantasy VI, because it's superior to Final Fantasy VII in every way except number of disk changes and spikey hair.

The graphics were great... except for 85% of the game. What were those character models you used while walking around? The summons looked great the FIRST time you watched them. After watching Bahamut ZERO for the 56th time, did you start to get less impressed? And I can't be the only one that got a little sick of watching a TWO MINUTE summon during the final boss fight, right? Find it on YouTube, the Super Nova summon is almost exactly two minutes. That gets a real old, real fast. But apparently skipable cut scenes during the summons would make too much sense.

Other random quirks:

1. Changing the controls upon entering some rooms just because the camera is pointed in some screwball direction for artistic effect. Call me crazy, but I LIKE IT when pressing "up" makes the character run up.

2. Barret is one of the worst characters in video game history. He is to black people in video games what Flavor Flav is actual black people.

3. Fighting the Emerald and Ruby Weapons is supposed to be some kind of accomplishment? I'm sorry, but maxing our Knights of the Round and Phoenix and then spamming it doesn't strike me as a real achievement.

4. The materia system, while inventive and creative on it's own right, basically relegates choosing a party to seeing who's got the best materia slots on their equipment instead of anything... I dunno... about the characters. What's that? I just found a spear with THREE linked materia pairs? I guess I'll start using Cid, then. Time to move all my good materia onto his equipment.

There's more... the characters are almost all bad. The story and pacing have some issues. But the real point here isn't that Final Fantasy VII is bad... the point is that it's WAY overrated. If you're a fan of Japanese RPGs, then this is definitly worth playing, but let's not lose our minds and start saying it's the best game ever, alright? It's not even the best Final Fantasy game, let alone best game ever. I think the biggest reason it gets so much love is that most people had next to no experience with this genre till Final Fantasy VII. That makes them kind of like the people that had never played an FPS game till Halo and then thought it was the best FPS game ever.

Final Fantasy VII is average.

Yeah, I said it.

 

 


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